You know, dearies, Amazon has changed the whole shopping business. There was a time when shopping meant walking along those lovely dusty roads and being cheated and sweet talked by the local shopkeeper (I have ALWAYS felt cheated for some reason). Now, I just lie back or sit down or even stand in the bus and simply browse that shopping site that nice Mr. Bezos has made. And they even come to my house and deliver the stuff. Very nice.
But now I am wondering how the great Mr. Bezos himself must be shopping. And I do not mean for jams and scarves and bags like poor old me, but REAL shopping. Because, would you believe it, darlings, people tell me that Amazon is looking to buy phones. No, not single phones, silly, but companies that make phones.
Why this interest in the phoney business, I wondered? Especially after the company had burnt its fingers in it – that’s what happens when you launch a phone called Fire, Jeff my boy – the last time it tried. Well, my sources tell me it is because Amazon feels that phones are one area where it needs to be present in all its shopping glory. Sure, you can do a lot on your phone using the Amazon app – have you tried using the camera to identify images and figure out how much Amazon is selling them for (it is very very low temperature, or ‘cool’ as these young folk call it)? But you still need to launch an app for that. What Amazon wants to give us, darlings, is a phone that is designed for shopaholics – with AI designed to dent your wallets and fill your shopping carts.
And of course, for that, it would need someone to make the things. Now, from what I hear, there are two companies that the Bezos ‘buy’ button is hovering over. One is HTC, and the other is BlackBerry. Hardly surprising, considering that both companies are not exactly setting the market on fire – just like Amazon’s Fire phone no? (So catty, sorry) But why these two in particular? Well, one reason is that both companies have good reputations even if they have been having a slightly lean time of late, which has made them available at much lower rates (this man knows his shopping, he does). The other is that both HTC and BlackBerry are supposed to be really good at software – HTC is so Sense-ible dearies, and BB is so security conscious. Now Amazon could do with both – imagine a phone with a great UI like HTC and/or with the rock solid security of a BB, so that no one can ever ever hack into it and pinch your wallet. Makes sense? If it does, then it is HTC, I guess. Sorry, dearies, I kill myself with my punning sometimes.
Which of the two has a better chance? Well, from what I hear from some of the senior tech crowd, Amazon is actually more keen to grab HTC, given its more extensive experience in Android (it made the first Nexus, remember) and the fact that it’s Android UI customisation have always got better reviews than Samsung, Sony and LG (why isn’t someone buying Sony and making pink Vaios again, I ask!). But a little bird…oh all, right, a really big fat bird (why should they always be little birds that tell us things) told me that Google too is looking to grab HTC, which has made that company a slightly more expensive proposition. Which leaves them with BlackBerry, which does focus on stock Android but has very very good security – remember how that nice Barack Obama had refused to give up his BB before those tech baddies in the security services made him give it up (or did they, I wonder). What’s the point of being the most powerful person in the world if you cannot even choose your own phone, but that is another story, sweeties.
So Amazon, the ultimate shop, is shopping. For phones. Who will get the buying call from Bezos? BB or HTC? Your guess is as good as mine, dearies. Tring Tring until next time…