Tech Auntyji’s Guide to Predicting Phone Flagships
Real innovation, sweethearts, please
You know, darlings, a few years ago, launching a flagship phone used to be a BIG affair. There was a lot of secrecy out there and people looked forward to finding out what was going to be shown. There was a lot of anticipation out there, sweethearts, because you know, every brand seemed to have its own take on what a flagship phone should have. Being different from the competition – as different as possible – was a matter of pride in those days, sweeties.
Well, I am sure it still is – brand identity and recall and that – but you know what? Anyone – and I mean ANYONE – can predict what a flagship phone will now have. Irrespective of the brand. Does that sound ridiculous? Well, let me tell you. Fill in the blanks with any brand you want and I can bet its 2018 flagship will have the following:
- An 18:9 aspect ratio display (size between 5.7 and 6.2 inches) with full HD+ resolution (sometimes higher) with Gorilla Glass 5 (maybe even 6, if we see it this year)
- A super slim frame (6.5-8.8 mm)
- Glass front and back (sometimes a metal back)
- A Qualcomm Snapdragon 845 processor (or its own spinoff, in case of Honor or Samsung)
- 4/6/8 GB RAM
- 64/128 GB Storage
- Dual cameras at the rear (around f/1.7 aperture), with one lens telephoto or wide angle or monochrome
- Selfie camera in front, generally 8-16 megapixels, with some sort of portrait mode (some might even put dual cameras in front)
- Cameras with portrait mode (no one likes those backgrounds, dearies – everyone is blurring them out)
- Face ID or Face unlock
- Android 8
- A UI that is “unobtrusive and close to stock Android”
- Water and dust resistance
- A battery between 3000 and 4000 mAh with some sort of quick charging (perhaps even wireless charging)
And those three new optionals:
- A notch
- 3.5 mm audio jack
- Under-the-display fingerprint scanner
Honestly, darlings, what else remains? The colors of the device perhaps, even though they will be covered by some sort of cover. I really wonder why the darlings in the team get so worked up over leaks – everything is so obvious.
And before you say it was always this way, no it was not! A few years ago, you always had someone trying something different to upstage their rivals – HTC would do something with its software (remember Sense?), Samsung would throw the kitchen sink at specs, Sony would insist its display was somewhat different and talk of waterproofing, LG would try some twist in design, Motorola would insist you did not need specs or would throw in a wooden back, even OnePlus had that grainy finished back and all…there was variety, darlings. And there was a time when Nokia and Motorola even made square shaped phones! Now, you see so many companies not even changing the basic design – you have seen one, you pretty much have seen the next edition too (applies to the iPhone too – what sad times we live in, dearies!). Even the Motorola Mods have become predictable!
A few years ago, you did not know what was coming. That is not really the case anymore, sweethearts. Now it simply seems a case of piling up hardware. Oh, and wait for what Apple does with the iPhone. Copy. Repeat.
What is this old woman asking for, darlings? Nothing much. Just a request to try to get back to those days when change was a constant and not a cliché. In two words, as Anton Ego said in Ratatouille: